Celebrating life stories...



This memorial is sponsored by:

Wayne, Gretchen & Yates, Matthews & Eaton, P.C.

Memorial created 10-1-2008 by
Steen Brydum
Kirsten Brydum
January 22 1983 - September 27 2008

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10-02-2008 9:29 PM -- By: Chris,  From: New Orleans  

Brydum family, I am so sorry for your loss. This has been a very difficult time for you I'm sure, but rest assured there are good people in New Orleans who feel for you and for Kirsten. Crime is so out of hand these days, but Kirsten will not be forgotten. I am sorry for your loss and I pray for you and Kirsten. God bless you.

10-02-2008 9:25 PM -- By: Stacey Blalock,  From: New Orleans by birth, San Francisco now  

I am deeply sadden that Kirsten's life ended so suddenly and unnecessarily. She's an inspiration to us now just as she was before. To her family and friends, may you heal in time.

10-02-2008 9:14 PM -- By: Kerry,  From: michigan  

I'm so sorry to hear about the death of such a wonderful person. She is what our world needs. I'm sure her energy will live on in the people whose lives she touched.

10-02-2008 9:06 PM -- By: Dioro,  From:  

May you experience never-ending fulfillment and a joy-filled eternal existence

10-02-2008 9:05 PM -- By: Ken Otter,  From:  

I feel sad for Kristen that she lost her life this way. I am sorry for the loss to those who knew and loved her. And I am sorry that the world is now without this beautiful person who contributed much. May Kristen's loved ones know her life has touched many, and we the world is better for it.

May you find some some solace in the beautiful life she had.

10-02-2008 8:58 PM -- By: Andy Westley,  From: San Francisco  

What a horiffic shame and loss. Kirsten was such an inspiration. I knew her from Dolores Park. How can you make sense of something like this?

10-02-2008 8:58 PM -- By: Barbara Austin,  From: white river junction, VT (originally born in san f  

I'm sure kirsten is seeing all of us trying to fix the world. she is now a real angel, having been an angel on earth.


10-02-2008 8:47 PM -- By: Kathy E.,  From:  

I never had the pleasure of knowing Kirsten, but her vitality was known to me, here in far northern California where we have a bookshop on what is called hitchhiker's highway, the long road from the Canadian border down to Mexico. That vital energy will go on. May her dear ones find some comfort. All the Waking Dog Collective (we put out a little paper called Greenfuse) join me in sending light and solidarity. Kirsten's vision will continue.

10-02-2008 8:43 PM -- By: Jared,  From: San Francisco  

My thoughts go out to her family and I hope her legacy is carried on for years to come. Her killer or killers took away her future and a chance for Kirsten to change the world even more. I did not personally know her, but I'm sure she touched every soul she met. Her young life had meaning and in death, she will still have meaning. Celebrate her life and keep her spirit alive now and always.

10-02-2008 8:08 PM -- By: Chris,  From: New Orleans  

We here in NOLa share our deepest condolences for your loss. Words can't express how I am sorry. She made a difference.

10-02-2008 7:58 PM -- By: Cindy Jensen,  From: Los Angeles, California  

I met Kirsten through her mother, Mamie. Kirsten always had a gleam in her eye and smile on her face. Everytime her mother spoke about her, she smiled. She was so very proud of her daughter. Kirsten was in every way a product of her mother. The same ideals and values and concern for human beings. She will be missed. Rest in peace.

10-02-2008 7:45 PM -- By: Ananda,  From: Florida now, orginally San Francisco  

My heart goes out to Kirsten's friends and family--her life is an inspiration to all of us.

10-02-2008 7:43 PM -- By: Peter Green,  From: Neww York  

Words cannot begin to express what you, her parents and family, must feel. I didn't know Kristen and never met her, but fromt he short video clip and the other tributes on this page, I can see that she was one of those rare kind and trusting people of whom there are far too few on this earth. I wish I could offer you more than this, but take heart that even after she died, she touched the hearts of others.

10-02-2008 6:33 PM -- By: Trisha Miller,  From: Colorado  

My heart goes out to Mamie, Steen and Erika, and to the rest of Kirsten's family and friends. I just ache knowing the grief you must be experiencing. There is nothing anyone can say to make this better - just know I am thinking of you and praying that God will ease your pain and give you peace. Love, Trisha

10-02-2008 6:10 PM -- By: Cari Hantsbarger,  From: San Francisco  

KB knew all about abundance, and she selflessly shared that knowledge with the world. I am grateful for having had the opportunity to be changed by her wisdom and made happy by her smile. Her gift of universal love lives on in all of us.

10-02-2008 5:47 PM -- By: john viola,  From: San Francisco  

An Open Letter to kirsten brydum From john viola 10/02/08

Hey love,

I am writing this letter to you now that you are gone (in body but not in spirit) to share with your family, friends, freaky people, and everybody who knew you or wanted to know you.

I miss you so much and with a level of hurt that i did not know was possible. So many of us- your people – are in that pain. I know that there will be another side of that, i know that someday i will come out of this seemingly endless well of grief. Your spirit is the guiding light out of that well. I know that you will not take offense if i tell you that i will need a bit of additional help.

One of the countless things that i love about you is that you are one ultracrafty wordsmith. A particular word you conjured for me is “interdependence”. We spent the fourth of July together, a day that i had previously despised. We walked up to Coit Tower. I was in jaded mode looking for shelter from the nationalism. I could tell that you were taming your typical exuberance to make space for that. At some point you obviously got tired of that and magically transitioned the moment by saying, “this is not independence day, this is interdependence day”. Then you told me about how you and some friends made it that way last year. For me, now everyday will be interdependence day.

So of course i know that you will not even be slightly offended that i need more than just you to heal this seemingly unhealable hurt. I want you to know that your community is coming together in such a beautiful way to deal with losing you and to carry your presence forward into the world. You would love to see it. We have been gathering and grieving and strategizing and scheming on what to do. There have been spontaneous wakes and alters. There have been meetings to continue all the really really free things going on. It embodies interdependence.

Far more than anything else what i want to say is thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I want to shower you with gratitude. Thanks for every single blissful second you shared with me. Thanks for being unspeakably rad in every way. Thanks for being the most loving person i have ever met. Thanks for being as perfect as a person gets. Thanks for walking part of the way in this world with me. And thanks for rescuing my heart.

There is something i would like to say not for you but for everyone else. And i am sorry to put this out there because it is about your death which was the exact opposite of your beautiful life. I only want to think about you in life. But i would like to put this out there to invite others who are feeling the same to help me in dealing with these feelings. I desperately need your help too.

I know that what lies on the other side of this grief is anger, anger that i need to feel. There is such a thing as righteous anger. But the problem that i am having right now is that there is no line between anger and hatred and i am afraid this problem will get worse. There should be no room left in this world for hatred. That is what took you from us and will not bring you back. Now more then ever i know that we need to put more love into the world and that you can not fight hatred with hatred.

We need to find who took you from us not for revenge but so that they will never hurt another woman ever again.

I have an idea of how to transform this hatred into righteous anger and your spirit will help me. I know that what i have to do is to continue to struggle as we and so many of our folks have been struggling against male violence.

You totally know and have totally helped teach me and others that male violence is inextricably a part of other systems of violence and exploitation. I know that what i need to do is to deepen my commitment in that struggle not just in honor of your spirit but in honor of humanity. This is not merely politics it is much more simply about humanness and dignity.

In this i am thinking again of your wordsmith ways and another word that you conjured for me: “immediatism”. Which, as i understand it, means putting into practice the change you want to see in the world not for tomorrow but for today, right now, this very second.

You are so totally committed to fixing things in the world that are wrong. All kind of things that were wrong you sought to make right immediately. From little things (like when you stopped to make sure a lost baby squirrel was cared for by animal rescue) to the gigantic things (like confronting capitalism with really really free marketerism)- you have sought to change the world today with more grace and integrity than i can possibly put out into words.

Thank you for rescuing my heart with that spirit. And i promise to be the best person i possibly can be and to fix what i can in the world and to live life the way you would: to the fullest. I can’t promise to be good enough to do it with your immediatism, but as soon as i possibly can.

There is so much more that i want to say to you and to the rest of the folks reading this but i will leave it here for now. You already know what is in my heart.

I miss you, i miss you, i miss YOU!

heart, jv

p.s. Sorry this letter is so serious and barely reflects our typical playful subversive missives. I think you will understand on account of the occasion. As soon as i can, i will send you more with laughter and levity to lift all of our spirits.

10-02-2008 5:20 PM -- By: Joan & Tim Jensen,  From: Huntington Beach, CA  

So sorry to hear about your tragic loss, Steen. She was a beautiful girl.

10-02-2008 5:18 PM -- By: Colleen Page Wooliver,  From: anchorage, AK  

I loved Kirsten so much.. she was one of my favorite cousins.. i remember when i visited her at Mamies house we would pick lemons from the tree and she made me pancakes.. she will be missed by everyone even those who did not know her will.

10-02-2008 5:15 PM -- By: Suzy Wooliver,  From: Anchorage, Alaska  

Hard to know what to say. I have a vivid memory of visiting CA with my daughter, Colleen, who was getting her toes painted by Kirsten and Erika. She adored her older 2nd cousins and will be missed beyond belief.

10-02-2008 5:14 PM -- By: Donna Carter,  From: Greensboro, NC  

I am very sorry for your lost. Did not know her but seemed very sweet and willing to help other. That what I like. God Bless you family. I will be praying for everyone who losted her as a freind.

10-02-2008 5:12 PM -- By: alej,  From: 'dego  

Harrowing way for a young person to die... what a surpassing life--as i turn into my twenties i wish to learn from a wave of good, revolutionary forces of the heart, productive and aware people like Kristen.

10-02-2008 4:49 PM -- By: Michele Collier,  From: Crestline, CA.  

" Be the change you wish to see in the world." Ghandi

10-02-2008 4:12 PM -- By: Esther Magnus,  From: San Francisco  

Since I heard the news, Kirsten has been on my mind constantly. I can just remember the last time i saw her at uncle ricky's birthday. So full of life, and on a mission to make the world a better place. I can't believe what has happened. I admired her so much after that day, she had so much inspiration. Kirsten's sudden death, is tragic to say the least, and she will be loved and missed.

Steen, Mamie, and Erika you are in my thoughts, be proud of what an amazing young woman you brought into this world

10-02-2008 3:54 PM -- By: Linda Pauloo,  From: So. Pasadena, CA  

Mamie, I am just sooooo sorry to get this news! I can't even come close to understanding what you must be going through right now!! Please know that myself as well as many other old Fulbright friends are really thinking about you and your family through all of this.

I am praying for strength for you to get through this and hope there can be some comfort in knowing there are many people praying for you!


10-02-2008 3:40 PM -- By: Alyssa Whiting,  From:  

I can't believe that something so awful happened to someone that i knew... all my sympathy to Kirsten's family. I love you all.

10-02-2008 3:34 PM -- By: anne,  From: oakland, ca  

my deepest sympathies to kirsten's family and friends. she was a beautiful woman and her legacy will endure.

10-02-2008 3:34 PM -- By: Deborah Parr,  From: Canyon Country, CA  

Mamie and Kirsten,

I will always remember meeting and laughing with you in your front yard while out walking with Ian. Life is precious and fleeting, so we hold onto those we love for as long and as hard as we can. To be a parent is the best gift of all. Our children are in our hearts, now and always.

Love, Debby

10-02-2008 3:32 PM -- By: Gail Scott,  From: Shreveport, LA  

My condolences go out the Kirsten's mother and the rest of her family. What a tragedy!

10-02-2008 3:11 PM -- By: Debra,  From: New Orleans  

I just want to say how sorry I am. My heart aches so much for your family at this time. I was looking for my daughter at the time of Kirsten's death. My body went limp when I heard the description. My daughter also has dark hair and light blue eyes. She also was wearing a striped shirt when she left the house. My daughter is an heroin addict and I know one day I will receive the same news. I hope that your beautiful daughter can become my beautiful daughters angel and watch over her. Your daughters passion for life has overwhelmed me because my daughter does not know life because the devil took it away when she was introduced to drugs. God Bless You. I will never forget Kirsten.

10-02-2008 3:07 PM -- By: Bob Calfas,  From: Malibu, CA  

Years and years of ADCOM meetings have allowed us to follow your girls' progress as they have grown into beautiful young women. It is with great sorrow and heart-felt sympathy that we heard of this tragic news. A part of all of us has been taken from us. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with your family.


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